Archive for June, 2004

“I…Know…EVERYTHING!”

// June 28th, 2004 // Comments Off // General

I’m somewhat of a Jack Black fan, so when I saw this story mention a bootlegged, unaired TV pilot from 1999 featuring the better half of Tenacious D, I couldn’t pass up downloading it. While it’s not all laugh-out-loud funny (probably moreso if you’re high), there are some classic moments. I was more surprised at the cast thay landed for the show!

If you’ve seen the clip, you know what the post title’s all about, and no doubt you’d said it to someone afterwards in the same way Jack Austin does. If you haven’t seen the clip…

“Knowledge is power…for real!

HOTW #44

// June 26th, 2004 // Comments Off // Haiku


Cheney: Potty Mouth
Stern is having a field day
A fine? Not likely!

Hiltons & Dragons

// June 23rd, 2004 // Comments Off // Ranting

Crying DragonAs if the first movie wasn’t bad enough, New Line seems to have decided to one-up themselves with yet another all-but-guaranteed dumper with a sequel, and possibly casting Paris Hilton in a lead role. Says Hilton: “Sound like fun. I’ll get dirty.”

Please. Make it stop. Crappy D&D movies make baby dragons cry.

Paris Hilton
Female, Half-Human
Level 7 Wench/Level 2 Fellatrix
HP: 69

Strength: 2
Intelligence: 1
Wisdom: 3
Constitution: 12
Dexterity: 13
Charisma: 4

Magic Items:

Bony Elboes of Anorexia
Slackjawed Half-lidded Idiot’s Gaze +4
Boobies +2 (automatically increase charisma score by 10 when dealing with any Male unless they save vs. Silicone)

Zaurus “Package no Architecture defined” Error

// June 23rd, 2004 // Comments Off // Techie

Occasionally I’ll detract a bit here and post something that is pretty techie for the some readers just looking for a good funny. Sometimes I’ll run into a software/hardware problem that I’m only able to Google and find other people seeking the same answers, yet not really getting any. I figure if I put this sort of stuff up, it might help someone out.
(more…)

Comments Fixed. Carry On.

// June 23rd, 2004 // 3 Comments » // General

For anyone who might have been trying to leave comments here lately and got unexpected errors, they should be fixed now. Er…sorry about that.

MulletFest Aside, Van Halen = Good

// June 21st, 2004 // 2 Comments » // Reviews

Mullet BoyMy first concert experience was Van Halen back on their first tour with Sammy Hagar, right after 5150 debuted. Eddie was a huge influence for me in picking up guitar, even though I never got much further than learning tablature from books and magazines, putting funky stickers all over my guitar, and listing my future aspiration in my year book as, “playing guitar in a band.” Hey, it sounded a hell of a lot better than nerdy IT guy at the time and maybe saved me from a few jock pummelings.

Back in March I mentioned the upcoming Van Halen tour coming to the Worcester Centrum. At the time I thought it was a bunch of bull, but it turned out true. I hadn’t been to a rock concert in maybe ten years, but somehow notalgia got the best of me and I felt the itch to go see what I considered a rare event — Sammy back with Van Halen. Hell, if their past is any indicator, this could be the farewell tour!

My brother was raring to go and couldn’t contain his excitement! Alright that’s not so accurate, but I was able to easily lure him into coming with me. Well OK, I bought him the ticket, but really he was happy to go…after I reminded him it was an excuse to get out of the house and I’d buy the beers. And then there’s the lie that they were just opening for Clapton but let’s get back to my quasi-review.

I remember from past Van Halen tours that people hated the fact that Eddie would switch from guitars and go stand behind a keyboard for a few songs. I mean, who goes to see Van Halen to watch Eddie play keyboards?! I was pleasantly surprised to see Eddie stick with his axe the entire show, even for the opening number, Jump. Eddie not only never hit the keyboards, but nobody did. They said fuck the keyboards and just played a track or shoved the poor Schroeder in the back — put a no-namer on stage with VH? Fuck no!

And speaking of the opening number, bravo on that. Sure it’s not my favorite, but if I remember correctly, they rarely played that in concert or weren’t able to because of ownership issues with DLR. Sammy and crew know damn well that a boatload of the people there want to hear the popular songs and not only crap they’re pumping out for the greatest hits album. Nobody’s there to hear the new shit. When the new songs come on, that’s usually when it’s time to go drain the weasel. Playing for the fans gets them huge marks in my book.

Another big point getter for me was digging up a rare one like Somebody Get Me A Doctor, and then add a few more for letting Mikey’s pipes let loose on it finally. That boy can still crank out some incredible highs and is the driving force behind the all-too-familiar background vocals heard in everything since the first album.

I also have to mention that a divorce, a hip replacement and a battle with cancer have somehow worked wonders for Eddie. Shirtless, sporting a top-knot, and running and jumping around the stage for a few hours without so much as two minutes rest, I was in awe. (Don’t look at me like that — I was just sayin’ that he was shirtless!) Also, I’m not sure if him sporting a cigarette once in a while for a few puffs looked sad or screamed, Cancer? Fuck cancer! Take this cancer!. I prefer to think of the latter.

And as for Alex, that dude is ageless. He looks the same as he did ten years ago! However, I think he fucked up a few songs in there, which I have to say I’ve never in all my years of concert going knowingly bore witness to before. But I was a hell of a lot less sober back then, so he could’ve tore a hole in his snare in those days and I’d think I was listening to the album verbatim.

Although I’m no fan of a bass solo, at least Mikey made it short and bearable. He also spiced it up by giving old-time fans a glance at his earlier years, toting the good ol’ Jack Daniels bass and hammering back a whole bottle of the sour mash! Alright it was a nip bottle, but a whole bottle!

Eddie also brought his son “Wolfie” up on stage with him to play a guitar duet of sorts. Holy shit did that make me feel old. I remember when he was born, and now here he is up there playing guitar with his dad?! Eddie was quick to announce, “you are all looking at the future, right here!” I’m not sure whether to pitty Wolfie or envy him, but I have to say he was so pudgy and seemingly awkward, you couldn’t help but want to give the poor kid a hug (Stop looking at me like that! I’m just sayin’!).

In summary, I was pleasantly surprised. It was a good way for me to properly say goodbye to the Van Halen concert scene, possibly for good. I got to hear Van Halen as I had first seen them, in the first venue I had seen them in, no less.

As my brother and I stood there after the last encore and the lights came on, we both agreed that the show was better than we expected. We watched, pointed and laughed as mullet heads abound swept past us in disappointment that the show was over, the waft of spent joints in the air.

“Look at all these idiots,” my brother said.

I laughed. “Hey, at least they still got the hair, right?”

“But they’re gonna miss Clapton!”

Demeaning Work

// June 18th, 2004 // 21 Comments » // General

I can’t decide what’s sadder about this picture — the poor bodyguard having to resort to shoe carrying detail, or that the name of the beach they’re walking on is called “Manly Beach”. I’m not sure where to begin, so I’ll leave you with that.

HOTW #43

// June 18th, 2004 // 20 Comments » // Haiku


Now this is fitting:
Father’s Day and summer starts
Now that kicks some ass!

More on Satellite Radio

// June 17th, 2004 // Comments Off // Ranting

The features that the likes of XM Radio and Sirius Radio should have for me to consider signing up for satellite radio:

  1. A built-in MP3/Ogg Player
  2. Ability to record on-the-fly, in MP3 or Ogg format, to the player.

List those under “not likely to ever see the light of day” features, but they’d make getting one an easier pill to swallow. The fact that my commute is ten minutes (don’t hate me) doesn’t make radio much sense for me as it is anyway. Oh, and I’m a cheap bastard.

To All You GMail Whores

// June 16th, 2004 // 2 Comments » // Ranting

I’ve read in several places that people already in the GMail beta are getting more invites for inviting friends than they have friends. Where the F is mine?! I signed up for the beta many months ago and still didn’t get in it yet. So not only does Google think I’m a piece of crap and unworthy of an account, so does everyone else.

Does GMail have TMDA?! No! HAH! TMDA has been my savior against the battle of spam. So take your measly 1GB of spam-space and eat it!

Oh, by the way, I’m joking. I really don’t want a GMail account. Honest.

(This rant has been brought to you by the letter ‘F’)